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The Anniversary Effect and Rape Trauma

Two years ago today (four a.m., Sunday, Dec. 11, 2016) I was raped by one of my best friends. To recap: Between October 2016 and May 2017, I got (in rough chronological order) surprise-served divorce papers after four years of volatile marriage, embroiled in a bitter custody battle, was stalked to NY by my schizophrenic…
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Lessons from the Broken

Brokenness comes up again and again with survivors of trauma. We all think we’re broken at some point, and then we move on, suppress it, accept it, or fix it. It’s only recently that I’ve actively started trying to repair my brokenness myself. And, just like the broken pots which are transformed by the art…
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Strength in Brokenness

The world breaks everyone and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.” — Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms Broken doesn’t mean beyond repair. I say this as someone broken by the world — and someone who is also stronger today than I once imagined I could be. My original intent for this post…
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Abuse, Victim Blaming, and Catherine of Alexandria

When I was a cantor, I loved when we sang the Quaker hymn “How Can I Keep from Singing?” No storm can shake my inmost calm While to that rock I’m clinging. I would sing those words and hope to someday experience unshakable inner calm. On November 25, we celebrate the feast day of Saint…
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The Witch Trials of Title IX

Recently, we have heard of of new guidelines for the implementation of Title IX.  There appear to be quite a few new changes, and I can’t speak to all of them. Some of them might be positive.  But there is one I definitely cannot support–the suggestion that an accused student should be able to cross-examine…
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#ChurchToo Means Shut Up and Listen

“In times of trouble, don’t leave the Church — lead the Church.” “You don’t leave Jesus because of Judas!” I keep hearing these phrases bruited about, wielded like a sword of Damocles over the heads of unsuspecting people who dare to articulate they are struggling with their faith in the aftermath of the Pennsylvania grand…
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Disastrous changes headed for Title IX protections of sexual violence survivors

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos will soon publish a new draft of the Title IX rules which govern campus sexual assault cases. The rule changes have been made to provide further protection for students accused of assault, will narrow the definition of what constitutes sexual assault, as well as determine that schools can only review cases…
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What we can learn from Native Americans about feminism and rape culture

The White Woman’s Envy History is written by the victors…and victors don’t like to laud the praises of the people they’ve crushed. As descendants of Western colonizers, we tend to think of early Native people as uncivilized, savage, half-naked, backward — these harmful and pejorative words still permeate some mindsets. But November is Native American…
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We Can Be A Voice

I love Catholicism. I’ve studied it since I was five. It has grown with me. The longer I write, the more people I meet and the smaller this Catholic world feels. I still have no real explanation for what kept me searching for answers and finding them in the church. I still have no explanation…
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Hate, Love, and Survivors of Domestic Violence

I am absolutely not a biblical scholar. I am quite relieved that Catholicism is not a sola scriptura kind of gal for many reasons, but I understand and recognize the importance of sacred readings. Please keep this in mind as I write and dissect in this post! One of my biggest pet peeves as a…
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